Jokes about being drunk

Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Upon being tested the fellow couldnt walk a straight line any more than he could drive one so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his.

Okay buddy walk me through the whole thing from the top.

Jokes about being drunk. 2 drunk man are sitting in a bar. 2 very drunk man are sitting in a bar one of them throws up on his shirt and says Man my wife is going to kill me. I was only supposed to get groceries.

The other man looks at him and says I have a idea put 50 in your shirt pocket. Following is our collection of funny Drunk jokesThere are some drunk drunk police call jokes no one knows to tell your friends and to make you laugh out loudTake your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers or where the setup is the punchline. A drunk ice fisherman drills a hole in the ice and peers into it.

As he does so a loud voice from above says There are no fish down there So the drunk fisherman walks several yards away and drills another hole. As he peers into it he again hears a. Joke has 8358 from 295 votes.

Cop death drunk health. An obnoxious drunk stumbles into the front door of a bar and orders a drink the bartender says No way buddy youre too drunk A few minutes later the drunk comes in though the bathroom. Again he slurs Give me a drink and the bartender says No man I told.

Drunk Driving It seems a gentleman had too much alcohol at a party was heading home and was pulled over by a state trooper. Upon being tested the fellow couldnt walk a straight line any more than he could drive one so the trooper wrote out a ticket and had just given it to the driver before an accident in the opposite lane took his. Funny Joke from Radioactive.

Im just sitting here on the toilet. A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes a loud blood curdling scream is heard.

A few minutes after that another loud scream reverberates through the bar. So two men get drunk together and start beating each other up. After several hours when every attempt has been made to split the two up a bystander decides to just cut their arms off to stop all the punching.

But then the drunks start kicking the. Joke has 4737 from 18 votes. An Irishman is really really drunk so the bar keeper walks up to him and says.

Right youve had enough go home So the irishman gets up off his stool and falls flat on his face so he says. Ok aill crawl outside instead to sober up a bit more He gets outside. Following is our collection of funny Drunk Husband jokesThere are some drunk husband slurs jokes no one knows to tell your friends and to make you laugh out loudTake your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers or.

100 Classic And Hilarious Bar Jokes That Will Make You Drunk On Laughter. By Team Scary Mommy. October 29 2019 Updated April 30 2021.

Silver Screen Collection Getty Images. A night out at your favorite bar is always a fun idea until youre hit with an awkward silence. Whether youre out on.

Whats the difference between a drunk driver and a stoned driver. Drunk drivers will run a red light. Stoners will wait for the stop sign to turn green.

A drunk driver is being interrogated. Okay buddy walk me through the whole thing from the top. Two men are in a bar getting drunk.

Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself. He says Oh no. Now my wife will kill me.

His friend says Dont worry. Just tuck a twenty dollar bill in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill. Jokes about alcohol such as bar jokes walk into a bar jokes pub jokes getting drunk jokes drinking jokes and hangover jokes.

Jokes that take place in bars or involve drinking alcohol or people getting drunk. Bar Jokes and Drunk Jokes Jokes about alcohol such as bar jokes walk into a bar jokes pub jokes getting drunk jokes drinking jokes and hangover jokes. Jokes that take place in bars or involve drinking alcohol or people getting drunk.

Bar Jokes - Drunk Jokes. Animal in Bar Jokes Bar Bet Jokes Bar Fight Jokes. Bar Trick Jokes Designated Driver Jokes Drunk Jokes.

Hangover Jokes Introduction Jokes Singing in a Bar Jokes. Walks Into a Bar Others. Three women went out drinking and decided to have a contest to see who could get the drunkest.

The next day the. The 20-year-old man approached an attendant at a service station in South Perth Australia at about 130am and allegedly demanded money and. Joke of the day - 5 Stages of Being Drunk is the best Joke for Sunday 23 August 2015 from site Jokes of the day - 5 Stages of Being Drunk.

Drink water lets surprise the liver. Joke has 7774 from 24 votes. A policeman pulls a man over for speeding and asks him to get out of the car.

After looking the man over he says Sir I couldnt help but notice. A big list of alcoholic jokes. 77 of them in fact.

Sourced from Reddit Twitter and beyond. An alcoholic wakes up in jail. Goes to the bar and gets so drunk he pukes all over himself.

Lamenting that his wife will leave him bc of this a guy at the bar says just say someone else puked on you and that they put a 20 in. Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction beer is unusually pale and clear. Find someone who will buy you another beer.

Drinking fails to give taste and satisfaction and the front of your shirt is wet. Mouth not open when. Whats so unpleasant about being drunk.

You ask a glass of water. Douglas adams the hitchhikers guide to the galaxy. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer.

To many people being nice in order to be liked is more important. A big list of vomit jokes. 88 of them in fact.

Sourced from Reddit Twitter and beyond. A drunk stumbles into an upscale bar on a slow night. He asks the bartender for a drink and says I cant pay you but Ill play you a song on that piano The bartender says what the hell and gives the man a shot of cheap whiskey.

Cheating on a drunk. A man had been drinking at the bar for hours when he mentioned something about his girlfriend being out in the car. The bartender concerned because it was so cold went to check on her.

When he looked inside the car he saw the mans friend Dave and his girlfriend kissing one another. Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in staggers up to them and. Points at the guy in the middle shouting Your moms the best sex in town Everyone expects a fight but the guy ignores him so the drunk wanders off and.

Bellies up to the bar at the far end. Alcohol addiction is supposed to be one of the worst addiction types ever. Alcohol is legal it relaxes it makes the parties funnier but it has quite negative consequences if exceeding the possible measures.

If a person is really drunk there is always the risk to get really huge troubles as alcohol reduces some of our instincts and intensify the standard reactions.