11
Oct
If you were a president youd be Babe-raham Lincoln. What US president had long legs a beard and smelled foul.
I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time The President beamed.
President jokes clean. What US president had long legs a beard and smelled foul. Why didnt George Washingtons father yell at him for chopping down the cherry tree. Because George was still holding the axe Q.
What would you get if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with the sixteenth US president. The Nobel committee said they wanted to recognize the presidents fine work in bringing peace to a black professor and a white cop through the strategic use of beer Jay Leno. Presidential Jokes by Presidents Themselves Being president is like running a cemetery.
Youve got a lot of people under you and nobodys listening. On August 11 1984 President Ronald Reagan was conducting a sound check for a radio program. My fellow Americans he said Im pleased to tell you today.
Some time passes after the 2016 US Presidential election and Barack Obama passes away from old age. He gets bored after a while in heaven and asks God if he can return to Earth for a while to see how the good ole US of A is turning out. Smith the president of a large corporation.
Smith the president of a large corporation called his vice-president Dave into his office and said Were making some cutbacks so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said Barbara is my best worker but Jack has a wife and three kids. Self-deprecating humor sarcasm puns and dad jokes have all been told by these funny leaders of the free world.
Check out our list of the funniest jokes told by American presidents. Wikimedia Commons United States Library of Congress. The president of the USA is meeting with the president of Russia at Moscow The USA president sees a red button next to his chair hr presses it once and a ice water bucket falls on his face he press it second time and the chair gives him a punch he presses third time and the chair kicks him out.
The President was out walking on a beautiful snowy day when he saw that somebody had urinated on the White House lawn to spell out The President Sucks Infuriated he called on the secret service to figure out who had done it. In a few hours they came to him and told him that there was some bad news and some worse news. Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering.
Whats the matter Mr. President The Vice President inquired. Nothing at all boss.
I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time The President beamed. How long did it take you. Nice weather were having huh Moses took one look at the President turned and ran in the other direction.
The next day Moses was walking down the same street and there was Bush. Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping. Because he couldnt lie.
Where did George Washington buy his hatchet. At the chopping mall. What do you call George Washingtons false teeth.
What was General Washingtons favorite tree. Funny election day jokes and political jokes for election day for parents teachers and children. Check out our collection of clean election day jokes for people looking for political humor that is safe for kids of all ages.
These jokes are perfect for election day and the runup to an election and are great for parents teachers politicians and. Little Johnny and the History Exam. In class one day Mr.
Johnson pulled Johnny over to his desk after a test and said Johnny I have a feeling that you have been cheating on your tests Johnny was astounded and asked Mr. Johnson to prove it. Johnson I was looking over your test and the question was Who was our first.
See more ideas about jokes riddles funny jokes for kids. 3 short funny jokes for adults and 7 longer stories. Funny jokester features whale jokes mozart jokes clean president jokes pirate jokes clean caveman jokes color jokes tons of clean animal jokes fun clean jokes you can tell waiting in.
You may also like One Liner jokes Short jokes or Yo mama jokes 1 If Donald Trump wants a wall If Donald Trump wants a wall he can start a Go Fund me page and his supporters can pay for it. Being president is like running a cemetery. Youve got a lot of people under you and nobodys listening Bill Clinton If I were two faced would I be wearing this one Abraham Lincoln.
Any of numerous small bloodsucking parasitic arachnids of the family Ixodidae many of which transmit febrile diseases such as Rocky Mountain spotted fever and Lyme disease. Make your own conclusions. 3rd Place won 1500.
Read on to discover the best clean jokes that promise a whole lot of giggles for both adults and kids alike. Theres a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. It was 1990 and Mikhail Gorbachev called POTUS Bush Sr.
To request help with an emergency. Our largest condom factory has exploded the Russian President cried. This is a true disaster Mr.
Gorbachev the American people would be happy to do anything within their power to help you replied the President. It costs a lot to dry-clean a suit over there in Japan and the prime minister had an expensive one George HW. Bush a week after vomiting on Japanese Prime Minister Kiichi Miyazawa.
There were two Qanon believers who were absolutely convinced that Trump won the 2020 election. They were traveling together and were killed in a traffic accident. When they got to heaven God met them and told them that hed reveal anything about Earthly life theyd always wanted to know.
They asked him how Biden stole the 2020 election. I General Lee dont find them funny. Lincoln is doing well in theaters historically this has not been true.
If you were a president youd be Babe-raham Lincoln. I went to this Gentlemans club in Pennsylvania and this babe Lincoln gave me the Gettysburg undress. Bush speaks during the Milken Institute GlobalConference in Beverly Hills California US on Wednesday May 3 2017.
He told dad jokes as they visibly. President Trump has blocked Erich on Twitter Rory OKeeffe. I have to have a Trump joke.
105 of the best clean jokes and one-liners 50 football jokes to make you. President Obama often used dad jokes to the chagrin of Sasha Malia and Michelle including when pardoning Thanksgiving. Although it seems that dad jokes are a relatively new phenomenon they were mentioned in 1987 by author Jim Kalbaugh in the Gettysburg Times as a specific genre of jokes.